Title : AS SURE AS THE SUN

Written by SeudSidle

Chapter 3

[Gil Grissom]

"Got a minute?"

Greg asks me. I'm in the middle of a report that I had to fill last week. A few things that Hodges need. He kept bother me for that. Hodges might be the only person in the lab that if he's gone I'll do a celebration party.

"Uh…yeah, come in."

He smiles and comes inside.

"What do you want Greggo?"

Sara already informed me about their case. Greg did a nice job. He's getting better every day. He already knows the technical part of our job, all he needs is a little more experience and soon he will be on his own.

"Sara and I closed the case. She's in the interrogation room with the suspect right now, but I wanted to talk you about something."

I leave the file that I hold in my office and I pull my glasses out; I squeeze my eyes. Why do I have the bad feeling that I already know what he wants to talk about? I had to expect it. If he came to me, he would go to Greg too. I scratch my beard for a while, collecting my thoughts. Greg's waiting.

"Ecklie."

"He talked to you too?"

He asks me and I wave positive. He sighs. Greg likes Ecklie as much as I do. After the incident with Sara I'm careful. I'm watching where I say things and to whom I say. Seems that the lab have the quickest gossip system around. I sneeze here and Al knows it in the morgue.

"What did you say to him?"

"The truth. He asked how Sara was doing. I told him that she's doing great as always. She's teaching me how to become the great CSI that she is. He, uh, didn't take it well. It's as if he prays for her to screw up."

Oh, I wanted to see Ecklie's face after that. Greg can be really smooth to things like that. He's not the naïve kid that most think. He's a brilliant young man and he knows how to handle things. Better than me as it seems.

"It wouldn't surprise me. By the way Greg, thanks."

He smiles. He seems happy with himself. Am I happy? I have to feel happy since before…I have no reason to feel happy. I'm feeling better, better than two months ago. I'm trying to make things better.

"How she's doing Grissom?"

I don't have to ask for who he is asking about. Sara. I'm asking myself the same question. I haven't talked to her three days. With their case and Curtis resignation, I haven't found the time to talk to her. I asked her yesterday if she going to her therapist and she said that she leaves things behind. From that second I'm wondering if I am one of the things that she leaves behind.

"Honesty I don't know. Outside she's okay. She's early for her job, she's doing doubles, she doesn't talk much. Typical Sara."

But she's not typical. She almost had an emotional brake down, I'm pretty sure that she had a brake down. God how she cried that day! I don't know why she cried. She had accepted her life, she didn't asked me why she had to live with that, she did great. She stands in her own two feet and that's something that most people don't do. Only if she let's me.

"I don't blame her."

"But inside…I don't know. She doesn't let me in."

She closed me out. I can't reach her. She trusted me and now she don't. She has this huge walls and I can't get in. It's strange because I could always, no matter what, find a small spot and slowly find my way inside. But now is wall after wall after wall. In one night she closed herself behind the walls. In one night literally. One day she was talking to me, really talking to me and the other I was facing Antarctica.

"She opened up and she closed shut. Yeah, same here. She'll be fine. Probably her ego hurts."

I smile and he leaves. Something hurts but it isn't her ego, it's her soul. Some of these days, she'll fall. Until now, Sara was always standing up. Like a phoenix, she would reborn from her ashes. When she asked me out and I turn her down, for one moment I thought that this is it. That's the final blow, but I was never so wrong. With her DUI, the same. She took some time off and she came back like always.

I tried to see how many times she could stand up. I asked Sofia out. I'm sure she heard it. She couldn't not to. As I said, quicker gossip mill in the city. She didn't say a thing and that frightens me. Maybe I am left behind after all. I'm a mean man cause that hurts me and I want to hurt her too.

I close my eyes. When she become so important for my life? I can't remember a day pass without thinking about her brown eyes. I love her eyes. They show every feeling of her. I haven't met anyone who smiles so bright with his or her eyes. When she's angry, I can almost see thunders in her eyes.

I put my head in my hands. Does she know in what situation she put me in? Every night when it's time to hand out the cases, does she know that I spend hours thinking of her? If I give her an abuse case she will think that I'm an insensitive bastard? If I don't give her a case like that, she will think that I believe that she's no capable? That she's not worth it?

Damn you Sidle.

I wish I'd never called you to Vegas.

I wish I never met you. I wish I knew what to do with you.

I can't understand you.

I know one of your secrets but still you're unreachable. What else do you hide? How many demons do you hide? Is this the reason you can't sleep the nights or is it just the peak of the iceberg?

I had so many doubts about this case. I read his file. Greg saw me but didn't say anything. Probably he thinks I was checking him. I saw the pictures. Smarnimoff could have everything but he chose nothing instead. He used his physical supremacy to torture and eventually killed the women that loved him.

You'll never know but I dream of you. In my dreams you smile and hold my hand. You are wearing a pink shirt and black jeans. You are happy and so am I. I can only see you but I know that I smile too. And then you turn your gaze and I see a black spot. I know that someone is there, waiting for you. You leave my hand and walk his way. I wake up.

I wish I never met you.

"Got a minute?"

That's a very popular question. I turn to see Nick. He's not here for a friendly chat. His lips are a line and he's angry with something. He has his hands crossed in his chest. That's a very defensive position.

"Need help with something?"

"You need to tell your CSI's to respect me little more."

Did I miss something?

"My CSI's? Anyone particular?"

"Sanders."

"What Greg did?"

"He has no right to judge my actions. That's my problem."

"Then Nick, I can't do anything about that."

"You take his side?"

"I take no one side. If Greg questioned your work, I'll be happy to help you but he didn't. Did he?"

He walks away. I can feel the beginning of a headache. Suddenly everyone has a problem with everyone. There was a different time. It seems so far ago but in reality it's only three months ago. What happened to the lab in those months? Dog eat dog. We used to be different.

I close my eyes again. I need some rest. I'm filling files for hours. I'm in the middle for days. I'm tearing apart years now. I'm not like Sara. I have my limits and I have no attention to push them.

I'm so deep in thoughts that almost don't hear the stew. There's nothing wrong with my hearing, I tend to close my senses when something bothers me. Archie and Hodges are talking in a corner.

What happen? Did I miss something, again?

"What happen?" I ask them from my office.

"A suspect I think. I'm not sure."

Archie answers me and they continue their talk. If something was wrong Brass would call me. Probably a suspect has a hard time accepting that we have him. I remember one time that the suspect had a really bad time accepting that. I was up in a wall, thinking that I should have told her something more than a simple `No'.

"You want something Greg?"

He's standing in my door lost in thoughts.

"The whole lab gone mad. Something about a suspect…I'm on my way down there."

I close my file. It can wait. I'm sure it's nothing serious but I need badly to be out of this room. I put my jacket on.

"Tell Sara not to leave. We might be needed."

She's going to hate me for this. She and Greg didn't leave the lab at all. They had a five-minutes break, enough to eat a cold sandwich and then back at the lab. I should ask her to take tomorrow's night off…Damn! Tomorrow Curtis leaves. The weekend! I'll ask her to take the weekend off.

I realise that Greg is awful silent. Usually he can talk for hours if someone doesn't stop him. Then I hear it. A sigh. Not any sigh, the sigh that says that something is wrong and I don't want to be the one to tell you what. I turn to look at him. Analyze that Grissom. I'm here, Greg's here. Where's Sara? Why Greg sighed when I mentioned Sara?

"Greg, where's Sara?"

He bites his lip and I start running. She's fine. She has to be. I spoke to her an hour ago. She's fine, she's strong, and she knows how to protect herself. I pass Warrick, he calls me but I don't stop. She's fine. Brass didn't call me, he would call me if something happen to her.

Right?

I storm to the interrogation room. David is taking the temperature of Smarnimoff's body. Last time I saw him he was alive and huge; now he's dead and huge. I see the broken table cross the room, some photos are still on the floor. Ironically the chair is in one piece.

"David..?"

"They moved her. Brass is with her."

I turn to leave and with the corner of my eye I see her necklace. She loves these things. She always wears one. In fact, I haven't seen her without one. They suit her. I kneel down. It's simple and somehow it fits her character.

"Um.."

"I'm not touching it, David."

Not without a glove.

"Where's Brass again?"

"With Sara, the paramedics just took her."

I thought…damn! I run out of the room, almost take Owen with me. I murmur a sorry over my shoulder and run to the exit. My breath is already out, I need to loose few pounds. Like always our timing is perfect. I see the ambulance leaving. When I'm here she's not, and the opposite. I see Brass.

"Where is she? Where’s Sara?"

I ask the obviously. I have a hope that she's okay, just a scratch that needed a little more attention.

"She's in there."

Brass points the ambulance. He's not moving he is mesmerized by the lights. He haven't turn to see me yet. I didn't know that he and Sara were close. I should know, Brass spoke with me about Sara million times.

"She's gone?"

I go closer to him; I'm in his side now. Stupid question but if she's gone, I prefer to learn it from him. He looks at me. I know that I look shit, I still to catch my breath and sweats runs from my forehead. Is he wondering if I'm having a heart attack? He looks me funny.

"Sara..is she okay? Is she hurt?"

He doesn't speak and that scares me. Yeah, the tin man has feelings.

"Answer me."

"What you want me to tell you Gil? She's in the ambulance, doesn't that answer you?"

"How bad?"

"A broken collarbone, few ribs. Maybe a concussion."

Brass says after a while. Broken collarbone: when the 2 ends do not line up. Symptoms: pain in the area, usually slumped downward and forward due to gravity, reddish-purple skin, bulges outward.

"He hit her?"

Funny how the human mind works. All the information I ever read came to my mind at once but the simple fact that Sara was attacked never crossed my mind until now. I saw the broken table, the blood at the floor, the broken necklace but until now, I thought that she was shot.

"He.hit.her?"

I ask and I can't recognise my own voice. Smarnimoff hit Sara. I should have seen that coming. His file is-was full of crimes against women. He hit Sara. Sara, who had witness her father's murder. Who said that she learned that daily abuse wasn't in most homes daily list with the hardest way.

"Yeah Gil. He hit her. He's dead. Simmons killed him. It's over."

I almost don't hear him. Over? How he can tell that it's over? It just started. Sara, or she will close up and she'll not allow anyone to come close again or she will fall and this time she will not stand up. No one is so strong and right now Sara isn't strong, she's vulnerable.

"No, it's not over."

I laugh and my desperation can't hide behind.

"It's not over at all. In fact it's just started. Which hospital Jim?"

"Desert Palm."

"Tell Catherine she's in charge for my shift too."

I leave him and run to my car. I start the engine but I don't move. What should I do with her? Everyone knows I'm not good with people. If I go there I have to have my mind made up. I can't play with her, I don't want to play with her. She doesn't deserve my fears or my childish behaviour. I can't do that to her now. She needs me and…

I need her.

After that realization, I drive in automatic to the hospital. I park; make sure that I have locked the car and rush to the ER. When I step inside I see the totally chaos. Nurses are running, doctors are screaming orders, people are moaning and babies are crying. I half expect to see George Clooney coming out of a corner, when I remember that Clooney had left the show ages ago.

"Excuse me…"

I call a nurse but she doesn't even look at me. She runs down the hall and disappears in a room. I leave a sigh and go to the information. Phones are ringing but no one is here to answer them. I turn my head left and then right, trying to catch the sight of a nurse but with no luck.

"A bus hit another bus, or at least that is what I heard. Desert Palm is the closest hospital around, so it's pretty crazy right now."

I turn to see a sixteen year old with short pink hair and a purple t-shirt. I raise an eyebrow; does her mother allow her to walk out like that?

"My mother works here, so if you help me I'll help you."

"Help you how?"

Why I have a bad feeling for that?

"With 20$ I'll hack the computer."

"That's a crime."

"Only if I get cut."

"I work for the police."

"Hey, you can wait with the others.." she points the bunch of people "..or not."

Mmm, tough!

"Here."

I give her the 20$ and she jumps behind the information bar.

"Name?"

"Gil Grissom."

"When he was brought here?"

Huh? Focus Gil.

"No, no. Sara Sidle. That's S-A-R-A, no H at the end. She was brought here probably before ten minutes or more."

She looks me annoyed. She sighs and starts again. She bites her lower lip and from time to time, she looks around. Someone will be in trouble if the mother caught her in the act.

"Sarah Smith…Sara Sidle. Hey, here it is. Sara Sidle, 33 years old. Broken ribs, broken collarbone, and broken leg. That means no more breakdance for her. Your old lady is in the surgery, first floor turn left from the men rooms."

"She's not old."

I say to her and she laughs. At her age, I had the same point of view as her. She's too young to realise that she will be in Sara's age and then in mine age sooner that she'll wanted. Time flies faster when you don't respect him.

I take the stairs, the elevators are stuck with people and I'm not in the mood for answering to snoopy questions. I had my fair share with questions as that in my surgery. It seems that people gain strength hearing other people problems. Sometimes I don't like people.

The first floor is silent compared to the ER. I follow the pink's directions and soon I'm waiting in an uncomfortable chair. All the nurses are down in the ER, trying to help and I'm clueless one more time. I should have used to this by now. When it comes to Sara I'm clueless. I can't predict her. Sara is subject to wild mood changes.

I know how uh, she feels for me. Of course she didn't told me in the face or maybe she did. She said that I was the reason that she moved to Vegas. Any men would be flattered to hear that from the mouth of a beautiful woman, but I wasn't. It scared me. To an outsider that statement would sound like I have the power over her but that's not true. She's the one with the power. All I can do for balance is hurt her.

"Is this sit taken?"

I look up and see Greg. He holds two cups of coffee and smiles. I take the one and he sits next to me. I take a sip from the coffee. It's good stuff. I tried the machines coffee here and that's a crime. We wait for some hour when I see Brass. What Brass doing here?

"I'm Sara's contact."

He says. The power thing again. She, she did it again. I thought that I…ugh! I bent my head in a position similar to Sara's when I took her from the police station. Is that her punishment for going out with Curtis? I'm thinking silly now. Next thing I'll say that she planed all this, that she waked up one day and planed to be beat up from a guy just to make me jealous.

Sidle, the mastermind.

"Are you for Ms. Sidle?"

A doctor says and we all stand up.

"Yes."

We say in a chorus.

"Family members?"

"She has no family...not in the area."

Brass looks me as if he already knows that. I wave my head to him. We need to talk later.

"Okay, is anyone of you uh, Mr. Jim Brass?"

"Right here doc. How is she?"

"She's out of the surgery, she had an open fracture to her left leg, and we put it in a cast. She has a broken collarbone and three ribs broken, normally I wouldn't strap the ribs, but with the broken collarbone, I thought it would better if we help her to easy the pressure. She will wear a figure-of-eight for six weeks. We'll keep her for 48 hours since she has a mild concussion and then she's free to go."

"And then what?'

"She'll have to stay to bed, try not to do unnecessary movements, eat lot of proteins, sleep well but not too long, and of course not work for eight weeks or at least until the cast is out."

"You know what doc? You did the easy job."

Brass says and Greg laughs softly.

 

**********
 

It's after midnight when I enter her room. She wanted to talk to Brass. He was in there for twenty minutes. He didn't talk to me when he left; he just stared at me and shook his head. He sent Greg in although. Seemed that Sara was asking for him and even though Jim said to her that Greg was fine she insisted on seeing him.

I'm standing in the door, staring her sleepy form. She's so beautiful even with her face swollen and bruised. She looks so peaceful and I'm thinking that maybe I should better leave now. I don't want to wake and through me out. She will, I mean I would do that if I was her.

"You shouldn't stare at people, Griss."

She says and I go closer. I sit in a chair near her bed and take her hand in mine. It's warm, she has a fever. Then I do something that surprise me more than her. I kiss her hand.

"How did you know that it was me?"

She swallows hard but doesn't try to open her eyes. Her face must hurt even for talking.

"Just knew."

"I realised that you know much more than me."

"Greg?"

"I sent him home. Try to sleep, I'll be here."

I kiss her hand again and she doesn't talk. After a while her rhythmical breath informs me that she's asleep. I look at her and can't help but question myself.

What tomorrow will bring?


 

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